When I was thirteen, I found writing an incredible escape. I would spend hours pumping out stories of incredible uselessness, for no one but myself. When I was fifteen, I had my heart broken for the first time, and without thinking fully of the consequences, I rushed to my computer where I vented all of my hurt and frustration to anyone who would listen. At eighteen, I took a hiatus from my computer and let my anger loose in composition book after composition book. I sought freedom from the prison of my experiences. I was looking for a way to express the rejection that I had always felt.
Writing is me at my best and my worst. Its my asset and my folly. Its where I find a way to channel the parts of life that I can’t keep inside of me.
As I grow older, possibly wiser, debatably more experienced, I have found ways to express my joy, fear and internal challenges in writing in such a way that still allows me privacy. There are some feelings that I don’t put out there. There are some things that I don’t share. This is because my experiences are not always solely mine, and words have power. They can hurt and shame the people around us as much, if not more, than actions.
Yet, perfection is unattainable, and in the heat of a moment I’ve been known to lash out in frustration and anger. As a general rule, I want my blog to be a home to my growth. I learn from mistakes. I learn from pain. I find comfort in writing it down and sorting it out.
I have always been of the mind that others do too.
For those who don’t write, who don’t share, I often wonder where the outlet is. I find comfort in sharing my journey, whether it is being read or not. A bit like therapy, writing a struggle out can help me make sense of things.
Sometimes bloggers get called out as being attention whores, and I understand the perspective completely. After all, for someone who prefers to deal with things internally, it must seem completely unnatural to want to share the inner most thoughts and struggles that we face. One may misinterpret it to be self importance… Narcissism… Bragging, even. I know, however, that I’m not wired to keep it in or face it alone. I know that I’m not alone in wanting to express myself to my friends and strangers alike. I know that there is a community of bloggers and microbloggers who feel the same way. And if we are to be completely mislabeled as braggarts, then at least we’re all in fairly good company. For us, there’s a distinct difference between being self indulgent and the fine art of falling apart. For us, sharing isn’t about page views or likes, rather engagement. Our platform allows us an extension of the human experience, where we can reach and be reached. A place where we can learn as much as teach.
Its an outpouring of a piece of us that takes courage and knowledge to find balance. And we’re grateful when people like you join us on our paths.