There was once a time when I was lost. I was looking for meaning inside of myself and struggling to find it. I knew I wanted more than who and where I was, but I just wasn’t sure what that “more” was going to be. A good friend asked me what my life goal was and without a second thought I told him that my life goal had been being a mother.
I recently wrote a little bit about my journey as a mother and whether or not I would do it again. I think that all parents, or at least good ones, come up against the feeling that they’ve failed in certain aspects. I have the “mother guilt”, as I think most of us do. I probably should have been a little older before I had her. I probably should be more patient with her. I probably wasn’t the best parent when I was struggling with depression. I haven’t honestly given her everything that she deserves in her life.
As a mother, in the big picture, I think we’re doing alright. I struggle at times because my daughter is headstrong, just like her parents. She and I argue and come up against one another and it can be trying. I have my moments where I become discouraged and unsure. For the most part, I know that Abby is a really fabulous little girl who is learning and growing in great ways every day.
It’s Pink Shirt Day today and everyone knows how I feel about bullies and bullying. This morning I stopped off at Abby’s school to chat with the teacher.
“Your girl is getting an award on Friday!”
“I’m off on Friday, so I’d love to come and see her!”
“Oh she’d like that, I’m so glad you’re able to make it.”
“What’s the award for?”
Poignantly, I was told that my daughter is a real gem. She reaches out to kids who are being left out by offering to be partnered with hem. Any kids with special needs are kids that she will seek and ensure are taken care of. She’s careful to be caring and empathetic in the classroom by lending a hand.
I am so proud to hear that this is the person Abby is becoming.
I know how caring she can be, and it really has me bursting with pride to know that my daughter chooses to use her intelligence in a caring and nurturing way towards others. I feel that it’s really encouraging to honour her at a special assembly with an award to show her how much her efforts are appreciated. I’m just really happy to be her mom.